‘My sister-in-law completely excluded one of my children from her son’s birthday party’

A mother turned to the internet for some much-needed advice after her sister-in-law completely excluded one of her two children from her cousin’s birthday party.

Imagine if your child was left out of the family's birthday party arrangements
Imagine if your child were left out of the family’s birthday party arrangements (stock image)

If one of your kids wasn’t invited to their cousin’s birthday party, but the other one was, you’d be very upset, right?

Well, that was the situation a mother recently claims to have found herself in, and she says she was heartbroken for her son who considered not letting either of them join the party.

But she wasn’t sure if she was being unreasonable, so she turned to the internet for some advice.

She took to Mumsnet to vent, writing: “I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive or if this is a really s**** thing to do, so interested in hearing what people think.

“I have two children 18m and 3. SIL has two children 3 and 5.

“It’s my nephew’s 4th birthday next week and my mom gave me an invite today to her party with just my youngest name.






Mom was heartbroken that her son wasn’t invited to the party (stock photo)

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“I assumed it was an error and sent a message to SIL saying that the invite just says DS2 is an error. She replied and said no, her son chose who he wanted to attend and he only said my youngest son, I replied and said I thought it was unfair to exclude 1 nephew from the party and she said that she didn’t think it would matter as he is never interested in play with them.

“As a background, my oldest son is suspected of autism, he struggles socially and doesn’t usually interact with kids his age, but he loves going to see his cousins, he enjoys watching them play even if he doesn’t get involved.

“There are no problems between them, no fights/arguments; he just keeps his distance, doing his own thing or watching everyone else. He is a happy boy, rarely has tantrums or meltdowns in public.

“The party is at their house, in the garden, they have a lot of space, so numbers are no problem.

“I don’t know if it’s just me being overly sensitive and heartbroken for my beautiful boy as I feel this is the beginning of how he will be treated as he grows up.

“I’m thinking about just not bothering.”

People came out in defense of the mother, saying that the sister-in-law is “out of order”.

One wrote: “I am generally happy with children being allowed to invite whomever they want to parties with a few caveats.

“However, that’s not cool. If your family can’t pretend to be inclusive, it’s pretty depressing. I’d plan something else to do with the two boys.”

“That’s awful. I wouldn’t, and I’d be very offended. Once you get to school age parties, I wouldn’t expect an invite from siblings, but for the family, it should definitely always be both brothers (if age is similar),” another said.

One suggested mentioning it directly to his sister-in-law rather than silently seething about it.

They wrote: “This is terrible. I would decline the invitation, say that you are incredibly hurt and offended, and say that if your family is not as supportive and inclusive, it upsets you for the future. How utterly horrible. Hard to believe that an adult could behave like that.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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